For the Glory!

Port Townsend residents and visitors can count on a potpourri of annual festivities throughout the summer and fall months, including the Wooden Boat Show and the Port Townsend Film Festival. But the season culminates on a particularly raucous note with the "Great Port Townsend Bay Kinetic Skulpture Race."


Now in its 29th year, the festival is a weekend-long series of events, celebrating the ingenuity and whimsy of mankind.


A kinetic sculpture is a human-powered, artistically enhanced vehicle that must travel through sand and mud, stay afloat on water, and conquer hilly, silly neighborhoods.


The whole shootin' match begins at low noon with a parade down Water Street.


No one is immune from the watchful eyes of roaming Kinetic Kops who randomly issue tickets to spectators failing to get with the program. If you aren't in costume or if you aren't moving sufficiently to the beat of the jazzy parade percussion, you just might find yourself with a deduction of points.


Clearly this is not to be taken lightly as shame shrouds anyone getting caught for breaking the kinetic law (as seen below).


However, Kinetic Kops may also choose to award Glory Points to spectators who happen to suit their fancy, as was the case with this particular Husky fan.











The parade lines up at the US Bank building parking lot where competitors and spirited participants receive instructions from the Kinetic Commissioner.



An award is given to each racer whether they want it or not, but the most highly coveted prize is the "Mediocrity Award" which goes to the sculpture that finishes in the middle of the pack.


Entrants must pass a brake test and an elaborate safety inspection. At this stage, the Kinetic Commissioner verifies that each rig is equipped with key essentials, like a spare tire, whistle, life preserver, and a teddy bear. It is interesting to note that pit crews must be human, and the rules clearly point out that, if necessary, DNA tests may be required.


Bribing the field of judges not only helps but is highly encouraged. It is clearly pointed out that cheating is not a right, but a privilege. After all, it's for the glory!


We weren't able to attend the Saturday Night Koronation Kostume Ball to witness the coronation of the 2011 Rose Hip Kween, but it was positively thrilling to meet true royalty - the oldest living Rose Hip Queen!



Washington's Governor Christine Gregoire was also in town for the festivities. Apparently she didn't earn any Glory Points from the Kinetic Kops either.